The Dreaded Photo Album
by gawilliams
Summary: Bones shows off a special photo album to everyone on Christmas.  Takes place a year in the future.


_I decided to write this one as a result of a small piece in a story I wrote recently. It is not related to that story, though. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

It was Christmas and the whole gang was at the home that Booth and Bones had purchased at long last. It had taken a year to decide on one, but once Booth got his stubborn pride under wraps, and Bones decided to be slightly less extravagant, they had found on for a reasonable $2,000,000. Booth, as was his genuine desire, got his man cave, and Bones got a whopping ten acres of land. Everyone was happy with it, and the best part was that the home they wanted to give their baby daughter Elizabeth was a reality. Today the whole group was at the house enjoying the afternoon together.

"I still can't believe she let you have a man cave," Sweets joked at Booth.

"No thanks to you, Sweets," Booth glared back. He still hadn't forgotten Sweets' threat a year before that he would make sure the kibosh was put on the whole man cave idea.

"I didn't interfere," Sweets held up his hands.

"You planted the seed," Booth shot back, still not terribly forgiving after all that time.

"Hodgins, do you have a man cave?" Sweets asked, trying to find someone on his side.

"State of the Art, Baby," Hodgins gloated.

"The real question, though, is how much time do you get to spend in that state of the art thing of beauty?" Booth questioned, knowing the answer from overhearing a conversation between Bones and Angela the other day.

"Two games a week," Hodgins slumped in his seat. "All that money and effort and I only get two lousy games a week."

"Whipped!" Sweets said, noting the wide smile on Booth's face. "You are, too, Booth, so I wouldn't smile if I were you."

"I am not whipped!" Booth argued, sending another glare Sweets' way.

"You're more whipped than I am, Dude," Hodgins chuckled. "And Sweets is even worse."

"I am definitely not whipped!" Sweets' defended himself.

"Oh, please," Hodgins laughed. "All Daisy has to do is say the word Lancelot and you're running to get some!"

"_Booth_!" Bones' voice came down into the man cave.

"Yeah?" Booth asked.

"_Angela wants everyone to come upstairs so we can look at the photo album_," was the reply.

"But the game's about to start!" Booth whined. What good was having a man cave when you didn't get to see the big game on a fabulous, beautiful 150 inch plasma flat panel television that your fabulously wealthy wife just got you for Christmas? And what's worse is you haven't even had a chance to turn the damn thing on yet!

"_Max wants to see the album, too_," Bones informed him.

"Be right there, Bones!" Booth said instantly and shot up out of his seat.

"Now who's whipped?" Sweets shook his head, and noticed Hodgins chuckling.

"Hey!" Booth glared. "None of you has a Father-in-Law who torched the Deputy Director of the FBI and told me in no uncertain terms that if his baby girl is unhappy I can kiss the jewels goodbye! And before you say it, Hodgins, Billy is a pussycat by comparison!"

They watched as Booth stomped off in a rush to avoid pissing off Brennan. Shaking their heads in amusement, they followed Booth out of the man cave and went in search of the entertainment. They may each be whipped in their own way, but Booth had been a goner from way back.

Booth got into the large living room where a slide projector had been set up and everyone was sitting around. He noticed that Father Mitch and Caroline Julian were also there. He said hi to them, and then turned to Angela.

"Christmas pictures of Michael?" he asked.

"Nope," Angela chuckled.

"This is my photo album, Booth," Bones told him as she came up to him and handed him their daughter, Elizabeth.

"Huh?" Booth asked as his heart melted as it always did when he held his daughter. "You don't have any photo albums, Bones. You said they were for mental midgets who didn't have a photographic memory to rely on."

"I said no such thing," she told him. Essentially a lie, as she generally had no need for a photo album given her photographic memory, but it would divert him from a bickering session, despite how much they both enjoyed those. "I merely said at the time that I had not had the need for one given my memory skills. In the time we have been together, though, I have been making an album of photographs of my favorite images of you."

Alarm bells went off in his head and wouldn't stop ringing. He blurted out the first thing he thought of.

"Is it obscene?" he questioned. "Am I nude in any of these?"

The room erupted in laughter at his questioning, but he didn't care. He was not about to let highly objectionable pictures of his highly evolved perfectly symmetrical body be put on display. That meant some questioning _**t**__**û**__**t suite**_!

"Have you turned my baby girl into a pornographer?" Max joked from where he was sitting.

"_**NO!**_" Booth shot out before any delay could imply more. He wanted The Jewels to remain right where they were!

"Anything you wish to confess, Seeley?" Father Mitch chimed in, holding up the purple confessional stole.

"_**NO!**_" Booth glared. He looked at Caroline. "Anything to add from your puckish side?" he asked.

"I'm just waiting for the show, Mr. Prude, so why don't you shut it and zip it?" Caroline said from her seat next to a highly amused Cam. "Go ahead and get this show on the road, Cherie," Caroline told Brennan.

"Over here, Booth," Max ordered, and enjoyed the sickly smile that Booth plastered on his face as he did as instructed. "We're ready to begin, Tempe," he told his daughter.

"As you all know I have always considered Booth to have excellent symmetry, and all the needed physical markers necessary for a superb mate and lover," Brennan said by way of introduction.

Booth groaned and wanted to sink into the floor. This was going to be horribly embarrassing! He made a mental note to begin a little photo album of his own with some embarrassing images of Bones!

"I decided to preserve some of my favorite images of him and began carrying my cell phone with me at all times," Brennan continued. "This is the first image."

A cacophony of cat calls and feminine wolf whistles let loose when an image of Booth in nothing but the black boxers with the glow in the dark skeletons that Bones had gotten him for his birthday. His back was turned to Bones, so all that was showed off was his excellent definition from behind, and his very cute, firm derriere that the ladies enjoyed a great deal.

"Very nice, Studly!" Angela called from across the room.

Booth covered his daughters eyes which brought another round of laughter. "I thought you said these weren't obscene, Bones!" he said from his spot, feeling the stare of Max right next to him.

"Trust me, Cher, that ain't obscene," Caroline chimed in. "I'll let you know when it gets to that level. After I get a good look, of course."

"I'll save a good hour for confession tomorrow, Seeley," Father Mitch told his friend, trying without success to hide his extreme amusement.

"And I'll make some room in my schedule next week in case there's anything you feel the need to discuss," Sweets offered.

Booth sat there with a sour look on his face. It just figured that Bones would develop a wicked sense of humor once they got together. Now he got to sit here and watch himself be exposed to their friends.

About thirteen pictures later, during which multiple groans from Booth could be heard while the cat calls continued, a new picture popped up of just Booth's face. A deep red blush and a look of horror was the expression, along with his eyes bugging out.

"This one was taken when Booth realized that the beach I had taken him to on the coast of Calais was a nude beach," Brennan explained.

"Please tell me that you got a couple of shots of Studly showing off the Full Monty!" Angela pleaded in an amused, desperate tone of voice. The eager nods of agreement from Caroline and Cam punctuated the statement.

"Taking my daughter to a Nude Beach?" Max teased, but keeping his voice serious.

"Bones took me, Max, not the other way around," Booth told him. He stood up. "Okay. I think that's enough of the photo album, Bones," he decreed.

Bones chuckled. "I was wondering how long it would take before you ended the show," she told him. "Now we can look at the real album, which is of our daughter."

Booth's mouth opened and shut like a guppy gasping for air while everyone laughed at the joke that had been played on him.

"You played me!" he spluttered, horrified at what she'd done, but at the same time admiring the joke itself. She was definitely getting so good at it that he needed to be much more careful.

Bones moved over to him and kissed him, taking their daughter in her arms. "I know," she replied, a wide smile on her lips. "You can begin the real slide show, Angela," she told her friend.

Everyone relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the day, looking at photos of the baby and sharing memories of the last few years. It was an excellent Christmas for everyone. The only one a little disappointed was Booth who had to wait until the **_next_** day to fire up his mammoth television in the Man Cave.

_A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this fun little one shot. Happy Thanksgiving! Gregg_.


End file.
